Weapons that are -cleverly- disguised as 'tools that help us make you better'.

Of course, you already knew that. What with the scalpel and all those miniature tortur--i mean, completely ordinary surgical tools.

...of Doom!

But no, what I'm currently referring to aren't those medically certified weapons of relatively mass destruction. I'm referring to all those other innocent-looking equipment in the room.

Have you ever been stabbed by a large blunt hand held object? In the ribs? And then have that pressure held there like some kind of evil torture technique?

No?

I have. Several times over. By a doctor who probably have a cert for both cardiology and the iron-fist-of-deathology.

Here is a simple equation that illustrates how you would probably look like if you were to ever have to go through the same ordeal:

++=

She might've been telling me about how it's all part of the medical procedure. I really can't hear much over all that pain.

Moral of the story: Don't forget your kevlar the next time you have a checkup at the doctors.